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“All This Bitcoin Stuff Is Fake” – Splinter | $3,348.29

All these imaginary “digital currencies” are just made up fake things….

What is Bitcoin? Nobody knows. I do not mean that nobody can offer a string of plausible-sounding words that seem at a glance as if they are describing a real thing, and apply those words to Bitcoin or even to “Ethereum” or any other “digital coin” that is “mined” on a computer (fake). I mean that none of it makes any sense….

On your computer you have a Bitcoin. Its value fluctuates wildly from month to month. You have no idea what you will be able to exchange it for tomorrow. You can’t buy a burrito with it anywhere. It is fake…

Instead of telling me computer words about what these digital currencies are, tell me this: Is it better than cash? That I hold in my hand? That buys me a burrito? That buys me a basketball? That buys me a house? That buys me a fighter jet? Is it better than that? No it is not…

Laugh your haughty laugh all you want. Enjoy calling me ignorant. I have a burrito and all you have is “code.” Yeah—code for “idiot.”

Eulogy made by: Hamilton Nolan


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